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  • Writer's pictureSquid Wan

What I did when I was feeling funky

After I wrote the last blog article I felt superb, a little forlorn but still better than how I started the year. That lasted for a day before I spun around dizzy with feelings and thoughts that emerged shortly after. They truly came out of nowhere, I swear. If I had to make a wild guess, it was probably from me scrolling social media endlessly due to not wanting to feel alone. It is so contradicting I know because my last blog was about me dealing with loneliness and then as if The Universe wanted to give me the ultimate test, it made me feel the loneliest for a few days.

It definitely did not look like I was lonely and I wasn’t even alone.

Let’s rewind to what happened…

I wrote the last blog on a Monday at the cafe, and then on Tuesday, I felt the urge to go to a cafe again, and on Wednesday I went to a cafe again, but this time with my bestie and it felt okay for a while but not fully okay because the cafe was crazy cold. Thursday, I was super busy with shoots for work and when I got home, I crashed. Every part of me felt sad. So I took my feelings to Twitter.

The next day I went into the office and put on an “I’m okay” front. There was a fire drill so we had to walk down 22 storeys to lunch. I know right. I dreaded it but doing it together with my colleagues made it a nice moment. We had chicken rice for lunch and had some nice conversations about what we were like in school. It was fun hearing their stories.

Side track a bit: Joining a team this year after freelancing solo for six years was one of the best decisions I made for myself. Plus, it’s a good team and I continue to be grateful for it.

Okay, where were we? Yes, Friday. Before I left the office my boss spontaneously felt compelled to give me a hug before he left the office (I’ve known him for 7-8 years and he is French so it’s not as weird as you think, besides, I am a big fan of hugs). Warmed by his gesture, I took it as a sign that my angels were cheering me on. I went home after work and knew that I really had to figure out how to get out of this funk.

Pushing aside the brain fog and the heart clog, I recalled a time when I was feeling the same way and what I had told myself then to overcome it: Do the opposite of what your feelings want you to do. So this is what went down:

#1 I FELT I had to eat a healthy dinner because I had chicken rice earlier.

Opposite = Eat whatever I want. So I ordered a half crispy spring chicken with rice from Tenderbest. So Yummeh!

#2 I FELT zero motivation to go for a jog.

Opposite = Just put on the running gear with no intention to run. That’s one step forward. It worked because I got out of the door with the intention to walk, but once I took the first step, I figured let’s do a slow jog, and I ended up jogging at my regular pace.

So that’s what happened last week. I scroll social media a lot lesser now. Big lesson learnt! Till next week, love yourself, and if you feel funky, try doing the opposite of what you feel and as always, love yourself. 🤍

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